Journal of a 27-year-old Virgin
LET'S GET VULNERABLE.
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A relationship ends. A love story concludes. Your best friend is no longer in your life.
And you really miss that person. You miss the cuddles, inside jokes, late-night trips to MacDonald’s, and good morning texts. It is okay to be sad. You made a bond and it was broken.
Here’s some hope for you…
God never asks us to walk away from good to give us worse.
That’s against His kind and loving nature. He will always swap good for great. (Even when you thought what you had was the best life had to offer). Break-ups are God's redirection. He’s like, “okay, child, I placed that person in your life for a reason in a season. Gather the lessons and let’s move forward into something better and brighter”.
And if the other person broke it off when you wanted the relationship to continue 🥺… well, my friend, rejection is commonly God's protection. We don't have heaven's view. The break-up could have protected us from something God sees, but we can't. God knows the pain you are going through is less than the pain if you had stayed in that relationship. (read that last sentence again)
God will never take away something that you need.
If you and your ex are meant to be, then trust God to organize the rendezvous. 👩❤️👨 God’s ways are higher than your ways. Maybe you both needed a season to blossom without your roots attached. However, if the relationship had an expiration date, then don’t go back to the fridge and pick him again. Honey, nobody wants overdue milk.
Also, your break-up can be your wake-up call. Often it is your deepest pain that empowers you to grow into your highest self. After my break-up, I found some internal fire of determination to be more active on social media and finish my book. My TikTok grew to 50,000 and I wrote 100,000 words for my book. These two dreams had been tucked away in my heart, but I never did anything to awaken these dreams whilst dating my ex. But the tears shed on the bathroom floor became my flames. The pain you feel right now can either fire you into action or extinguish you. I had a choice, and so do you.
God wants to show you reasons to be grateful your relationship ended.
In break-ups, there is always a reason to be grateful if you dig deep enough. 👀I keep thinking of Ariana Grande's song "Thank You, Next" and how so many of us bypass the "Thank You" phase and go straight to the "Next."
If the reason you are grateful is that you ended something toxic, dysfunctional, or maybe abusive, then dang, I am grateful with you! I hope you say "thank you" to yourself because you courageously walked away from something that wasn't serving you, someone who wasn't good for you.
Whether we want to admit it or not, your ex influenced you. They either 1) helped you build up enough strength to leave 2) taught what you did and didn’t want or 3) helped you become a better person. My ex inspired me to be more consistent with my community, create a strategic work routine, and be kinder to those around me. I truly think the goal of dating should be to make each other better people, and my ex did exactly that. So, to my ex, thank you. 🙃
Finally, I still stand by my previous advice… Please enter a season of “closed singleness” before dating anyone new. Closed singleness is when you don’t consider any love interest for the sake of healing and recovery. For a bit, why don’t you take a break from dating and process your past experiences? When the idea of dating excites, then this is a sign you’re ready to enter the stage of love again.
Friend, one day soon, "Thank You, Next" will randomly start playing on the radio, and a smile will break across your face because you found the "Thank You" in the past and the boldness to look towards the "Next". 🤍 🤍 🤍
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